I'm not usually a bad tempered person but shop assistants really got my goat yesterday.
What is it about me, do I have a face that suggests that I'm a helpless little twerp who has no capacity whatsoever in selecting products in a shop? I grant you that I may have looked a tad vague yesterday after enduring a pretty hefty morning's work but I had my shopping agenda firmly planted in my mind and my line of attack sorted.
With barely the preceding edge of the nail of my big toe over the threshold of the first shop I entered, an ever so slightly over made-up shop assistant almost incoherently yelled: "You alright there sir, would you like any help?".
Politely I replied:"I'm very well thank you my love and no, I don't require any help, thanks."
Just a few seconds passed as I negotiated the slalom of pushchair shoving, young (some very young) mums when a second assistant forced a smile, looked me directly in the eye and said in an uncharacteristically clipped manner:"You alright there sir, would you like any help?"
With just an inkling of irritation I said:"I'm really rather experienced in shopping thanks, I think I can handle choosing the right body spray and shoe deoderiser, cheers."
Paying for my goods, albeit minus the shoe deoderiser because I couldn't find any, I headed to the next shop on my mental list.
I pushed open the door backwards using my backside as I had a carrier bag in one hand and mobile clamped to my right ear with the other. Despite it being very clear that I was engaged in a telephone conversation, which let's face it could have been with someone terribly important, an acne ridden lad in a grubby assistant's uniform frowned at me and said:"Do you need any help sir?"
I ignored him and yanked my head in the direction of my phone to draw his attention to the fact I was mid chat. At this point he came over and muttered:"Yes sir what is it you're after."
I calmly drew my conversation with my window cleaner (OK, so it wasn't someone terribly important) to a close, put my bag down on the floor and said:"Do you know what I'm after? Huh? I'm after a shopping trip free of bloody shop assistants pouncing on me within seconds of entering their shop and asking whether or not I want any help."
On that I note I stormed out of the shop, returned for my bag, stormed back out and headed towards my office.
Still grinding my teeth I negotiated the double doors of the office to enter the serenity of the lobby, at which point someone followed me in, I smiled and said:"Good afternoon sir, can I help you?"
MEMORIAL DAY
4 years ago
Too much of a good thing is bad! LOL! I'll never forget, many, MANY moons ago, my sister and I use to shop at this clothing store. The saleslady's name was "Lee". (See, I even remember her NAME.) She was very aggressive and would rip open the curtain when we'd be trying on the clothes. One day Lee uninvitingly opened the curtains on my sister, mid-dress, and spied the hickeys covering her body. (I told you this was a long time ago! LOL!) Lee exclaimed,"Why I NEVER!" and ripped the curtain shut! That'll learn ya', ya ole bag for spying on young girls! LOL!
ReplyDeleteHa, I like this! I feel the same way when I go into a store ( I dislike going into any stores at all to begin with, unless it is a photography equipment store)
ReplyDeleteI enjoy your sense of humour. Especially the part about going back inside to retrieve your bags and then huffing out again LOL
I sometimes go along with the assistant because I know they are just trying to look busy for their manager or are just genuinely excited to see someone because they are bored out of their minds.
I once had a very attractive young girl ask to assist me. I told her i was looking for some jeans. She said "All our jeans are here in this area" Yes, that was why I was standing in this area, I thought to myself.
"What size do you need?" she asked. I replied that i needed a 33-34 waist. She then pointed to the rack of which I was already standing in front of that was clearly labeled 33 and 34.
"if there is anything else I can do for you, please let me know" and she smiled and walked a few feet away and stood there watching to see if I did not put back the jeans in their proper place as I viewed them, I guessed. . .
Amusing post, and I enjoy your blog.
Soon again. . .
Thanks for your encouraging comments Gary, and thanks to you both for your experiences. I loved reading them.
ReplyDelete