Flippin' Floppin' Awful!

Despite being a man (although I have on the odd occasion had that disputed!) I can't quite understand why some of us hunter gatherers manage to get everything to do with our feet so very wrong.

Up until the introduction of the trendy, designer branded flip flop, men have traditionally felt painfully self conscious about baring their plates of meat.

We've all witnessed it haven't we? The geezer on the beach on a balmy summer's afternoon, who drops his jeans to reveal gaudy shorts, who then goes on to whip off his slogan emblazoned t-shirt only to kick off his trainers and lay there with his socks on. Why?

So, you'd think it would be a welcome sight to see more guys wearing flip-flops, liberating the flesh below their ankles and letting the air flow around their little pinkies. Oh good god no.

In fear of becoming labelled as a gawping freak with a foot fetish, I've become obsessed with how badly men do the 'foot thing’; they (excluding myself and a smidgen of other image conscious gentlemen) just don't get it.

It was the sights I had to endure this lunch time in town that compelled me to return to my desk and type up my second entry of the day. I can quite honestly say that I can stomach no more.

Sock elastic marks around the ankles - no!

Black fluff in between the toes - no!

Long toenails - oh please!

And (please note I can barely write this without retching), dirty, really dirty feet.

They may be cooped up all day in sweaty socks and hot shoes, but please gentlemen if you're going to bare your feet in public, please consider the more sensitive among us, otherwise I'm just going to have to insist on the socks and sandals look again.

Oh BBC! That wasn't nice!

What is the BBC playing at?

Okay, today is a big day for high school students. The GCSE results are issued and countless teenagers are clutching what is either one of the most feared or most eagerly anticipated envelopes of a person’s lifetime in their sweaty mitts, putting off opening it for as long as they dare, deciding whether or not they want to discover how their hard work or lack of effort has mapped out their futures.

As if today isn't gruelling enough, the BBC lines up two young girlie high school students on their Breakfast show this morning, along with 'Miss' who already knows their results and who is about to reveal them live to the nation, camera at the ready to record the girls’ reactions for prosperity.

Alright, I suppose it's a nice story and alright, the girls must have given their permission, but come on, what were the researchers thinking?

They chose two girls at completely opposite ends of the confidence, personality and academic spectrum. Was it not blindingly obvious what was going to happen?

The poor girl who was interviewed first by god knows who - even Kate Silverton commented on how scary she was - clammed up and came across on national television as if she didn't give a shite despite receiving a pretty good run of respectable C grades. Conversely, Miss A*** who was second in line completely overshadowed poor little Miss Apparently Apathetic with enviable confidence.

Come on guys, that wasn't nice!